My Own Movie Rating System

My very own copyrighted highly subjective rating system for movies.

(Five green palm trees FGPT) - This is the higest rating a movie can get. You should definitely drop whatever it is that you're doing and go see this movie. Your life will not be complete until you have witnessed the beauty and awesomeness that is this movie.

(Four blue palm trees FBPT) - This is a great movie but there was something about it that stopped it from achieving the five green palm trees (FGPT) rating. This something, however does not detract from the movie substantially, and therefore you should also consider going to see this movie immediately, if not in the very near future.

(Three purple palm trees TPPT).
This movie is good, but not great. It is a movie that is worth seeing, but you may want to go only when there's nothing else fun to do, or when you unexpectedly find an extra $20 in your pants pocket. Movies with the TPPT rating are excellent for renting and watching on your own TV.

(Two orange palm trees TOPT). This movie borderline sucks but there is something about it keeping it barely afloat. Maybe there's this one great scene that makes it so good, or there's one character that saves the movie, or even a memorable funny line or two that will be repeated over and over again (think Napolean Dynamite) for months. After seeing a TOPT movie, you may wish for your money back, or pray that the time wasted on the movie would be returned to you. Think carefully before venturing out to see a TOPT movie.

(One brown palm tree OBPT). Do not waste your time on this movie. You will hate yourself for ever thinking you might find a modicum of something slightly good about this movie. This movie will make you regret not staying home and scraping the two week old dog poop from the many grooves in the bottom of sneakers with a toothpick. It's the worst of the worst. A pointless movie that fails to even be pointless enough. Don't waste your time or your money.


ann said...

Hi Katie! I love your palm tree rating system for movies. Has Kara seen this? You should clue her in and get her hip to the blogging as well. Good to read that comment re: Talladega nights since I was thinking of going w/ Paul for our anniversary-- we'll choose something else. Too bad because I love Will Farrell.